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Dropping the Emotional Calories
Understanding Emotional Calories The body stores unresolved trauma and emotional energy just like it stores unused calories as fat. In a recent post, I wrote about how trauma is energy, and I wanted to expand on that a little bit. As I mentioned, in moments of emotional distress, when we don’t feel safe to…
Read MoreThere’s No ‘Quick Fix’ to Emotional Mastery.
There’s No ‘Quick-Fix’ to Emotional Mastery. Expect the inner-work to be a marathon, not a sprint. I know… when we’re suffering in the moment, we just want it to end as quickly as possible. And yes, there are ways to soothe the suffering in the moment, and there are methods that lead to results quicker…
Read MoreDeal with the Present Moment
Address the Present. Past Trauma Reveals Itself In the Moment. When it comes to emotional healing, most people think that we need to dig deep into our past and unearth every painful memory in order to heal. They think that healing trauma means focusing on the traumatic memory itself, replaying it, and analyzing it. …
Read MoreThat’s Not the REAL You.
That’s Not the REAL You! Trauma and fear shape who we are in ways we never notice. When we’re young, way before the age where our memories start to stick, we go through experiences that shape us. We experience some pain and learn to avoid it. We receive praise for something and learn to double…
Read MorePeople Pleasing is SELFISH!
People Pleasing is a Defense Mechanism. It’s not altruistic. It’s a trauma-based defense-mechanism you’re using to avoid dealing with your pain. One of the most common issues of self-betrayal that I help my clients deal with is people-pleasing. It’s practically a pandemic these days—putting other people’s needs ahead of your own to earn approval, avoid…
Read MoreKnowing is Half the Battle.
Knowing is Half the Battle. In order to heal trauma, anxiety, stress, fear, etc… we need to become the conscious observer of them. For my fellow 80’s kids, you may remember that phrase “knowing is half the battle” from the GI Joe show, and it’s still applicable for us in our lives with this inner…
Read MoreAddicted to Fear: Anxiety and Overthinking.
Our Weird Addiction to Fear, Worry and Overthinking. Why do we insist on ruminating over our problems so much? We all have this weird subconscious belief that fear keeps us safe. We believe that if there is a potential problem in our lives when things can possibly go wrong, the best thing that we can…
Read MoreYou Won’t Understand Until You Heal.
Understanding Comes Later. You’ll never fully understand your defense mechanisms while you’re still living in them. A phrase that I like to use with my clients when helping them escape their subconscious patterns is that ‘you can’t read the label from inside the bottle’, meaning that you can’t truly understand your patterns while you are…
Read MorePhysiotherapy for your Emotions
Physiotherapy vs. Cancer Treatment Emotional Wellness is About Rebuilding Muscles. To me, emotional healing is more akin to physiotherapy than it is to treating cancer. It’s not that there’s something wrong and toxic inside of you that needs to be treated and removed. It’s more like you sprained your ankle a long time ago, and…
Read MoreThe Ups and Downs of Life.
The Ups and Downs of Life It’s important to understand that there will always be fluctuation. Sometimes people have the impression that when they start doing inner healing, every single day will be better than the one that came before it, and that if they ever have a down moment again, something’s not working. But…
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