Logic Doesn’t Heal Trauma

It’s true that your patterns and defense mechanisms are responses to trauma, and it’s true that there’s a level of logic connecting what happened in the past to the specific patterns you’re acting out now, but understanding the logic there isn't going to help you stop doing it.

If I were to explain to you exactly where the defense mechanism was coming from... right now... would you be able to just automatically stop doing it?

Or... to put it another way...

If a doctor explains to you what's causing a headache, does it make the headache go away? Of course not. At best, analyzing the logic is going to give you the ability to analyze why you're doing it while you're doing (rarely)... but more likely, after you've done it. Which will only lead to a further cycle of judging yourself ("God dammit! I did it again! I know why I keep doing this so why the fuck do I keep doing this?!?!?").

You're looking at the surface level pattern. Not the core one. The core one is emotional avoidance. It's because you're getting triggered, meaning that unresolved emotions are coming to the surface, and you haven't yet learned how to deal with those emotions directly. You're avoiding the internal pain that comes along with the trigger.

But when you learn how to STOP analyzing and how to just release the tension and resistance and deal with the underlying emotion, then you won't feel the need to perform that defense mechanism, and THEN you'll be able to fully understand why you're really doing it.

The logic is 'true'... but it's also bullshit.

The only real truth is that you're running from the uncomfortable emotions.

Learn how to deal with that directly, and you'll be able to change the patterns and understand them easily. But if you try to change the patterns by analyzing why you're doing it, you'll be stuck in that cycle for decades, because you can't logic away your emotional pain.