What is FEAR?

Emotional healing becomes confusing when we start mixing up emotions and logic.

We’ve probably all heard the saying, at one point, that FEAR actually means ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’, and while that’s a nice sentiment that’s pointing out the legitimate issue that the things that we are afraid of ultimately aren’t as real as we think they are, I think the saying kind of misses the point.

 

If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ve probably already heard me speak about the 3 elements of our experience of reality; thoughts, emotions, and sensations. These are 3 separate experiences. There is obviously a relationship between them, but it is indeed important that we recognize them as separate. If we don't, the subconscious cycle that keeps happening between them will continue and we will forever be stuck in our patterns.

 

So, the issue with that ‘F.E.A.R.’ acronym should be pretty obvious. It’s conflating 2 elements of the experience. It makes it seem as if the experience of fear is the same as the thoughts we have around that experience, and that’s a problem.

 

Fear is an emotion.

 

In itself, it has nothing to do with the logic and rationality and narratives we attach to it. In some sense, we might also refer to the stress response that our bodies go into (the fight or flight mode) as a fear response, but it is certainly not the same as the emotion of fear.

 

Point being, the emotion of fear often comes before the thoughts. It’s often a state that we are just stuck in, for months, years, or decades at a time. And the thoughts are a symptom of the fear… or a reflection of it.

 

By saying that fear is ‘false evidence’, we are saying that if you can only realize - logically and intellectually - that the thing you think you’re afraid of is not actually a threat, then you will have immediately ended the fear experience. But that’s really not how it works.

 

When you are stuck in a state of fear, your mind is constantly trying to find things to explain and justify that emotional state. So, the thoughts happen BECAUSE you are in a state of fear, and if you constantly work on sorting out the fact that the ‘evidence isn’t real’, without learning how to deal with the emotion directly (in abstraction from the logic), then the fear will keep on building and you’ll just keep finding more false evidence to justify the fear that you’re feeling.

Fear is NOT ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’.

 

Fear is an emotional state of feeling unsafe, and when you feel that, your mind will constantly find false evidence and make it appear real so that you can at least try to have some understanding of why you’re feeling that emotion.

 

Yes… the evidence behind your fear is false… But the fear is its own experience.

Tags: #fear, #false-evidence-appearing-real, #emotions-vs-logic, #mental-health

Photo of Benjy Sherer, Anxiety Coach. An emotional fitness trainer specializing in offering guaranteed relief from anixety, trauma, fear and more.

Benjy Sherer is a mental health coach and emotional fitness trainer specializing in anxiety and trauma healing. His approach is about bypassing the intellectual analysis of our past traumas and focusing instead on conquering the subconscious cycles that keep us stuck in fear and which prevent us from truly healing our pain.

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