Emotions Are Just An Experience.

Emotions are a weird, intangible kind of thing that it’s really hard to put our finger on… Even harder to put words onto them and really understand them.

Because of that, people often get confused about what the emotion really is. When talking about them, they tend to talk about the reflections of the emotions rather than the emotion itself.

There are a few things that we would consider to be reflections of the emotions: Chemicals, neuropathways, and behaviors.

As far as chemicals go, we know - for example - that serotonin and dopamine are associated with joy and pleasure, but those chemicals are not - in themselves - joy and pleasure.

They are simply the chemicals that we see being produced during an experience of joy or pleasure. They are - in that sense - the reflections of those emotions.

Similarly, we might see certain parts of our brain lighting up when we experience one emotion over another, and once again… the activity that we see in the brain during those experiences are not - in themselves - the same as the emotions.

Lastly, people often look at our behaviors during an emotion as the emotion itself.

For example, sometimes I ask people if they enjoy being angry. The obvious answer is no… but sometimes they say yes because they recognize that - when they are angry - flipping someone off or yelling at them kind of feels good. They are mistaking angry behavior for anger.

Because people don’t recognize this distinction, they keep on justifying their emotions in ways that keep them stuck.

The question I always ask people is:

While your emotions may be justified… do you WANT to keep justifying your emotions….? Or do you want to overcome them?

Do you want to keep telling yourself why flipping someone off feels good and why you should therefore keep doing it? Or would you rather not harbor the anger that makes you want to flip someone off in the first place?

If you’re of the second category… if you want to stop justifying your emotions and start overcoming them instead, that’s what I’m here for. My clients learn how to confront the emotions directly while avoiding the subconscious cycles that lead them to translate those emotions into actions that only perpetuate the problem.

If you want to learn how to do the same, reach out. I’m here to help.

Best and love,

Benjy