Emotional Kung Fu

Even in your very first martial arts class, you'll learn how to throw a basic kick. The sensei will show you the proper stance, how to position your body, and the right way to move your leg. But just ‘knowing how’ to throw a kick isn't enough to make you a fighter. It's the thousands of practice kicks, the countless hours spent perfecting that single move and learning how and when to use it that turn you from a white belt into a black belt.

It's the same with emotional mastery.

When you first start working on your emotional healing, you'll learn some basic techniques. You might learn how to recognize your triggers, how to process difficult and uncomfortable emotions, or how to redirect negative thoughts and shift the beliefs around them. These are like the foundational kicks in martial arts. They're essential, but ‘learning them’ is just the beginning.

The real growth comes from practicing these basics over and over and over. Every time you encounter a trigger and choose to respond with patience, self-awareness and compassion (both to yourself and the person that triggered you) instead of a knee-jerk reaction, you're practicing your emotional kick. Every time you catch a negative thought and remind yourself that it’s just an illusion of your mind, you're honing your skills. It's this repetition, this dedication to practicing the basics, that transforms you.

Just like in martial arts, where every kick you throw builds muscle memory, every healthy response to your emotions builds emotional muscle memory. At first, it might feel awkward or forced. You might mess up. No… You WILL mess up! And that’s ok. Because for every few failures you’ll find one win, and the more you practice, the more natural those wins become. Over time, these healthy ways of responding to your triggers become your norm. They become your default setting.

It's important to remember that emotional healing, like martial arts, is a journey. It's not about getting it perfect every time; it's about showing up and putting in the work. It's about being patient with yourself and recognizing that every time you practice, you're getting a little bit better. You're moving closer to that emotional black belt.

So, next time you're faced with a challenging emotion, think of it as an opportunity to practice your kicks. Know that each time you choose a healthy response, you're training yourself to handle your emotions with grace and strength. And just like in martial arts, where the journey from white belt to black belt is marked by persistence and practice, your journey to emotional mastery is marked by your commitment to practicing the basics, day in and day out.

Keep practicing, keep showing up, and you'll find that emotional mastery becomes a part of who you are.