Fear Vs. Discernment.
The actual emotion of fear doesn't help us navigate the danger in our lives.Â
At the core of my work helping people master their emotions so that they can enjoy life to its fullest, there are a few core concepts, which, in many ways, are actually the same thing.
We might call it unconditional self-love, or inner peace, or simply… overcoming fear. We are trying to learn how to live our lives without inner conflict and distress. How to live a life without fear.
Of course, when I tell people about letting go of fear, I often get the objection that fear is necessary in order to keep us safe, and that’s simply not the case.
Fear is appropriate in one very specific kind of situation. Basically, when we are running away from a predator of some sort.
Fear provides us with a surge of adrenaline that helps us run faster and fight harder to protect ourselves from physical danger. So, when you’re running away from a tiger or fighting off an attacker, that fear may give you the extra strength you need to survive that experience.
Of course, fear can also make you freeze up. So, even in those situations, it may not always be the best option.
But aside from those situations, there are many occasions where you might notice a threat and where fear is neither helpful nor appropriate.
We can discern a threat without becoming afraid of it. The two are very different internal reactions.
I can recognize that it’s stupid and dangerous to cross a busy highway. I don’t need to feel fear internally in order to come to that conclusion.
I can assess that someone is toxic and a bad partner for me without becoming defensive about it (which is a fear reaction), and that will allow me to more calmly and patiently respond with my best interest in mind.
Basically, people often argue that without fear, you would never recognize threats and you would basically walk right out into traffic and die. But no… you wouldn’t.
Fear is an emotional reaction.
Discernment (or assessment) is a logical recognition of a simple fact.
If I get hit by a car, I will get injured and maybe die. And I don’t want to get injured and possibly die. So, I shouldn’t do that.
Do I really need to experience a sense of fear in that moment around injury and dying in order to make that assessment?
No… I don’t believe that I do.
I can fully discern truths about what is in my best interest or not without turning to fear.
We’ve taken fear out of its evolutionarily beneficial context and applied it to all sorts of places in our lives where it’s not appropriate.
And you can learn to live without constantly being in fear.
Seriously.
And that’s the life I’m here to guide you towards.
If you’ve been stuck in fear and are ready to put in the work to escape it, hit the button below to schedule a free call with me.
Tags: #anxiety, #trauma, #fear, #defense-mechanisms
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Benjy Sherer is a mental health coach and emotional fitness trainer specializing in anxiety and trauma healing. His approach is about bypassing the intellectual analysis of our past traumas and focusing instead on conquering the subconscious cycles that keep us stuck in fear and which prevent us from truly healing our pain.
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