You WILL Keep Growing!
As you release your trauma, triggers and defense mechanisms, you'll grieve old versions of yourself.
A phrase I use often is that “If you’re doing life right, you will always look back at yourself from a few years ago with a bit of embarrassment.”
Now, ‘embarrassment’ may not be the best word here because it implies a level of negativity and self-judgment that I don't mean to imply, but it’s simply the best way I can think of expressing this in a short and eloquent way.
What I mean is that we are constantly growing and evolving as people (at least… we should be), and part of this constant growth and evolution is recognizing—over and over and over and over again—how much more we had left to learn.
You think you’re pretty wise right now, huh? Well, that’s great! Maybe you are! But… how long did it take you to acquire that wisdom? And… do you think you’re going to STOP acquiring wisdom right now and that you are at the peak and pinnacle of the amount of wisdom and insight you will ever have? Or, will you continue to add levels of wisdom and insight to the already amazing mountain of wisdom you have right now?
Adding wisdom to that pile isn’t like adding water to a pool, where once the new water gets added, it blends equally with all of the water that was already in there. It’s more like sedimentary layers in the ground. As archaeologists dig down into the past, they can identify various eras of Earth’s development.
The same goes for you. Wisdom and experience keep on accumulating, and every so often you enter a new stage in your life. You basically level up. When you do, a lot of the wisdom from your past comes with you—as it is the foundation on which you built the new you. While other ‘wisdom’ that you once invested so much in starts seeming outdated and—perhaps—as if it never had half the value you thought it did.
Some of it gets clarified. Other bits of it get left behind to dissolve into the dust because it was never as solid as it seemed to begin with.
But… rants aside… what is the point here?
The point is to never take yourself too seriously.
It’s fully okay to be proud of the things that you have accomplished and the things that you are doing now. In fact, it’s important to be. Especially for those of us who want to be a shining light for others, having confidence in who you are and a level of self-assurance in the wisdom that you have is crucial.
But never forget that YOU WILL KEEP GROWING, and that—if you do—you will almost certainly look back on all the things that you are so proud of right now with a realization that “Woah… I had SO MUCH left to learn!”
And the bigger point here is that this awareness of your ongoing growth is crucial, because if you don’t recognize that now, then you will fight your growth. You will do everything you can to cling onto old ‘wisdom’ that is no longer wise. You will resist change. And you will stagnate.
So… don’t take yourself too seriously. As you continue to grow, you’ll realize all of the mistakes that you’re making right now, and that will be a good thing.
Tags: #growing-up, #maturing, #trauma-tips, #ego.
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Benjy Sherer is a mental health coach and emotional fitness trainer specializing in anxiety and trauma healing. His approach is about bypassing the intellectual analysis of our past traumas and focusing instead on conquering the subconscious cycles that keep us stuck in fear and which prevent us from truly healing our pain.
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